10 things your driver wishes he/she could say to you

As passengers, we have encountered different drivers on our commutes - be it taking the bus, taxi or Uber - you may have come across  the master decorator with zhao cai mao displayed on his dashboard, the talkative cabbie and hopefully, the efficient dispatch driver as well.

Have you ever wondered what they thought of you though? Your drivers have driven all types of passengers to, from all corners of our tiny island and they’ve seen it all. Here are 10 things they wish they could say to you:

1. Are you really sleeping or just bluff one?

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Okay lah sometimes you really can’t help but fall asleep the moment your head touches those cool leather seats. But sometimes your driver wonders if you’re really sleeping or pretending to  just because you want to avoid his grandfather stories.

2. Don’t so kan cheong leh

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Chiongster drivers and people who are perpetually late for work are a match made in heaven, but your drivers have to follow traffic rules and speed limits. Nope, a cab/Uber will not magically teleport you to that Very Important Meeting, especially not in rush-hour traffic.

3. You know I can see what you’re doing right?

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Sometimes they just want to remind passengers that this is not your grandfather’s car. You might think your nose-picking or bum-scratching is discreet, but don't do this in public. Just don't.

Or maybe you’re one-half of a couple that just can’t wait to get home for some sexy times. Keep your hands to yourself, bro. Remember - drivers have eyes. And a rear-view mirror.

4. Wah, super smelly

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Every driver had dealt with a smelly gym rat, the kind that thinks a quick ride home is a good excuse for skipping the shower. But think about your poor driver. Never underestimate the strength of your B.O.

If you see your driver winding down the windows for a whiff of clean air, it’s a sign that you should probably reconsider your standards of personal hygiene.

5. Please don’t throw up. Please don’t throw up! Please don’t throw up!!!

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Working the night shift can be really stressful when faced with drunk passengers. Drivers can’t do anything but silently plead that you won’t puke in the car because guess who has to clean up the mess? Yep. They do.

6. This one how to pronounce ah?

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The condos in Singapore are getting more and more creative with their names. It's not enough to live in 'The Gardens' or even 'Interlace'.Nope, these condos are coming up with tongue twisters that stump even the most French-savvy driver. You'd get a headache too if you had to deal with 'D'Daley' and 'CoteD'Azur'. So please be patient with your driver when he asks you twice where you live.

7. I hope I'm going in the right direction

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Most drivers should be familiar with Singapore's roads, but when you live in the uluest of ululand, don’t expect them to immediately know where that is. Even the GPS makes mistakes sometimes.  You’d never know, but your driver might not be sure if he or she's going in the correct direction either!

8. Don't haggle with me!

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Nine times out of ten, your driver isn't the one who determines the cost of your ride. Thanks to surcharges and ERP, your fare might make your jaw drop, but that's beyond your driver's control. They're just trying to make a honest living, like everyone else.

9. Why you gotta be so rude?

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To the passenger who steps into a car only to pull out his phone and start playing games without even a simple greeting, can polite a bit? Driving for hours can be very sian, and your driver might just want someone to talk to.

10. Thanks for making my day!

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On accasion, drivers do meet customers who brighten their day with friendly greetings, drive time conversation and acts of kindness like telling them to "keep the change". While seemingly small, these gestures go a long way in making the hours spent plying the roads much more enjoyable.

A day in a driver’s life

Drivers get to meet all types of people, keep his/her own hours, and getting your own transportation is a big plus!

If you are street-smart, like flexibility and don't like being  desk-bound, why not consider becoming a driver?  

Check out some great driver jobs on FastJobs here

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